your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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