Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
