I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
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