if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
