Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
