Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
