i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
