What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I think my moral compass just broke
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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