Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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