shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
