I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
