Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
