the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Let's paint friendship bongs
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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