What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
