I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
