would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
