I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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