I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
