just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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