If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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