What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
