Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
