girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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