singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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