Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You pole danced in your parka.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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