i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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