This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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