I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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