She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
