I CAN MOONWALK!
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
