I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
