If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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