i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
