Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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