so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Everything about him screamed your future.
only you would photoshop your dick
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
