He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
