i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
even my farts smell like vagina
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
