apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
