did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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