mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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