The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
