we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
My balls are so social today.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
