Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
