I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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