They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
