I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize