Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You were trust falling into bushes
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
