Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
