1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
