I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
no, he came in my armpit
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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