May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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