i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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